The Gallery Fridays at Y-Bar

Gallery Friday at Y-Bar is about to be off the hizzle dizzle (adding -izzle to random words is still cool right?) Bring a toy donation for the Toys for Tots charity and indulge in a hosted Belvedere cocktail reception with sexy house music TONIGHT from 10 PM to 12 AM.

BONUS: Complimentary sushi will be provided by Union Sushi + Barbeque Bar. Free sushi AND cocktails on a Friday?! I just pee'd a little bit.

Gallery Friday @ Y Bar
Friday, December 16 | 10 PM - 12 AM
Y-Bar
224 W. Ontario St

CLICK HERE TO RSVP*

*You and your guest(s) must arrive before 11 PM for complimentary admission. State that you are on "GLOBAL ADRENALINE'S" Guest List upon arrival. Dress Code is strictly enforced. That means NO zebra print jeggings for anyone except Lil Wayne.

Silver Room Anniversary Party

The Silver Room is having its 14 Year Anniversary Party TONIGHT at 7 PM! Wow, if this place is around for another 14 years it can host "Welcome Back" party with Rod Blagojevich. Drinks and food should be complimentary.

The Silver Room 14 Year Anniversary Party
Friday, December 16 | 7 PM - 12 AM
1442 N. Milwaukee Ave

Text "tsr" to 55469 to RSVP

Cram Naughty & Nice Party

Cram is hosting the annual "Naughty & Nice Party" TONIGHT in the Cram for men and Cram for women stores Lakeview. This event will include free alcohol, giveaways and scantily clad men (you don't want to know what's stuffed in their stockings). The first 30 people to show up receive goodie bags and everyone is encouraged to enter the drawing where they'll be giving away Hudson Denim, gift certificates from Tim Weber and accessories from Diesel.

Cram Naughty & Nice Party
Thursday, December 15 | 8 PM
3343 N. Broadway Ave

FREE Burger King Fries

Burger King is revamping one of its recipes yet again with the introduction of a new "thicker, reduced sodium fry with an added coating that makes them crispier and keeps them hotter longer." If you want to try them out you can do so for FREE on Friday, December 16th, when Burger King will give out a free "value size" order of fries to customers, with no purchase necessary. In other news, McDonald's stills wins.

Source

Ch-Ch-Changes

Certainly by now, all four of my readers (Hey Mom!) have noticed some changes to my blog. Apparently something went awry with my previous layout and it no longer displays properly. I suppose a redesign was well overdue anyway. Maybe this time I'll start from scratch instead of searching for "premium" templates that are probably already installed on a hundred other blogs that no one reads. I'll continue to post free events, of course, but you can expect some design updates in the near future. Feel free to email me (rome@reallyclassy.com) or comment on this post with encouraging feedback and/or sexual innuendos in the form of double entendres that may or may not be palindromes.

100 Best Party

I'm not down with this "check-in" craze that's currently being embraced by all of the social networks. I don't need people knowing where I am or what I'm doing. I got warrants! I can't have The Feds popping up when I least expect it. Of course I don't speak for everyone. If you're down with having people all up in your business, this is for you. Time Out Chicago and Foursquare are teaming up to offer exclusive deals that can only be accessed if you are awarded the Time Out Chicago "100 Best" badge on Foursquare. First up is the 100 Best Party at The Bedford featuring The Bedford Bloody cocktail and complimentary appetizers. Unfortuantely I'm not a big fan of Bloody Marys. The only things that I like bloody are my steaks, zombie movies, and boxing/MMA fights.

To unlock the badge you'll have to follow Time Out Chicago on Foursquare and check in to two (2) venues from their 100 Best list. Click HERE to see their 100 Best list. Technically you can RSVP before you receive your 100 Best badge, but you'll be required to show it in order to gain entry to the event.

100 Best Party
Thursday, January 12 | 7- 9 PM
The Bedford
1612 West Division St

Click HERE to RSVP

A Shave and a Cocktail from Topman

Topman and UrbanDaddy have teamed up to help some of you fellas get snazzy for the holidays. Head over to Topman TONIGHT for a beard shave, complimentary Gentleman Jack cocktails, and a 20% discount when you spend $200 or more. The European-Emo skinny boy look is so hot right now!

A Shave and a Cocktail
Thursday, December 8th | 6-9 PM
Topman
830 N Michigan Ave (at Pearson)

Click HERE to RSVP

Kiehl's Grand Opening

The new flagship Kiehl's store on The Mag Mile is celebrating its Grand Opening with a celebration on Friday, December 9th. There's no free alcohol at this event (why the hell am I even posting this?) but there will be free "karnival"inspired snacks, giveaways, jugglers, a photo booth AND a balloon twister! Wait, a balloon twister is a hand job with a condom on right?

Kiehl's Grand Opening
Friday, December 9 | 4 - 7 PM
The Shops at North Bridge
512 Michigan Ave, Suite 112

Illamasqua

Kryolan City Chicago is hosting a soiree with professional makeup artists from Illamasqua (illamasqua.com) along with complimentary cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and complimentary mini makeovers on Thursday, December 8th. Ladies, if you've been waiting to find out how you can wow your man with that sexy Cirque du Soleil-esque creepy prostitute mime look, your prayers have been answered!

Illamasqua 
Thursday, December 8 | 6 - 8 PM
Kryolan City Chicago
2034 N. Halsted St

RSVP to kryolan@jklspr.com

Spa Party

To celebrate the worst season of the year, Kiva Day Spa is providing complimentary salon and spa services and refreshments on Wednesday, December 7th. If you're like me, wondering if the word "refreshments" is another way of saying "happy endings", the answer is no. Google search has failed me again!

Kiva Day Spa Party
Wednesday, December 7 | 4 - 9 PM
Kiva Day Spa
196 E. Pearson St

Reyka Vodka Presents: Iceland Wants to Buy You a Drink!

Reyka Vodka recently won the IWSC (International Wine & Spirit Competition) Vodka Trophy and to celebrate, it's hosting a crazy party in TWO locations, TONIGHT, with FREE Reyka vodka and a performance by Iceland's own "Jeff Who?" (11 PM)! I was actually hoping for a performance by Björk. No one can rock a swan dress like she can.

First Reyka Party Location
Tuesday, December 6th | 7- 9 PM
The Anthem
1725 W Division St
http://theanthemchicago.com/

Second Reyka Party Location
Tuesday, Dec 6th | 10 PM - 12 AM
The Bedford (Down in CVS Basement)
1612 W Division (One block east of The Anthem)
http://www.bedfordchicago.com/

RSVP for both events here: http://do312.com/Reyka

CISC Holiday Party

The Chicago Interactive Social Club (CISC) is throwing a Holiday Party at The Underground on Thursday, December 8th. Usually these CISC networking events include free drinks for the first hour, light appetizers, and repeated violations of personal space. This time there are supposed to be a few "surprises" so perhaps they'll make things interesting.

Nevertheless I can assure you The Underground will be PACKED. You better get there well before 8 PM and get in line or else you might end up at the mercy of bouncers who take joy in seeing how long they can make you suffer. Of course that never works on me, due to my extreme will power. One time I was outside long enough for my pubes to freeze but I stuck it out. And yes, it was totally worth it when I walked in the club during last call.

There's no cover but make sure you RSVP for entry.

CISC Holiday Party
Thursday, December 8 | 8 - 10 PM
The Underground
56 W. Illinois St

RSVP @ www.chicagoisc.com/signup.

Cheekiest Holiday Indulgence

Cheeky invites you to the Cheekiest Holiday Indulgence at Calypso St. Barth on Wednesday, December 7th. Sip cocktails and swallow cupcakes whole while you shop and receive 20% off of your entire purchase. Calypso St. Barth sounds like a tropical resort, but it's actually a clothing line filled with yuppie-chic outfits that can only be worn without shoes. RSVP if you're interested.

Cheekiest Holiday Indulgence
Wednesday, December 7 | 7 - 9 PM
Calypso St. Barth
50 East Oak Street

RSVP to rsvp@cheekychicago.com

Thrillist Chicago Holiday Party

Thrillist and Stoli are hosting a sexy Holiday Party at Tzar's Ultra Lounge on Wednesday, December 14th! This is your chance to try out the new Stoli Chocolat Razberi Vodka that all the gangstas are raving about. Stoli Chocolat Razberi mixed with Malibu Rum and Apple Pucker is the most hardcore drink you can have right now. I like to dip the rim of my martini glass in sugar and drop a couple raspberries in the glass to really show that I just don't give a f*ck.

Thrillist Chicago Holiday Party
Wednesday, December 14 | 7 - 10 PM
Tzar Ultra Lounge
215 W. Ontario St.

Click HERE to RSVP!

The 12 Days of Yelpiness

Yelp throws a handful of huge parties throughout the year. The 12 Days of Yelpiness is no exception. On Thursday, December 8th, the Zhou B Art Center will be chocked full of free food, alcohol, entertainment, endangered animals, balloons filled with breast milk, and much, much MORE! There's still time to RSVP. Just cross your fingers and hope that you get an email confirmation soon. Please note that this event is FREE but there is a suggested $5 donation that will benefit the Rock for Kids charity.

The 12 Days of Yelpiness
Thursday, December 8 | 7 - 9 PM
Zhou B Art Center
1029 West 35th Street

Click HERE to RSVP (If you're not a Yelp member you'll have to register and RSVP by clicking the RSVP button at the top right corner of the page.)

A Night at the Irish True

Thrillist and Tullamore Dew, the triple-distilled Irish Whiskey, invite you to "A Night at the Irish True" at the Goose Island Gallery 1028 on Tuesday, December 6th. Guests will sip Tullamore Dew while witnessing a lively, burlesque re-enactment of the great Irish Potato Famine of the 1840's. Well, maybe that's not totally true, but I better see some boobs and potatoes or boob-shaped potatoes or I'm gonna start a good ol' fashion Irish pub brawl!

A Night at the Irish True
Gallery 1028
Tuesday, December 6 | 7 - 11 PM
1028 N. Hooker

RSVP @ http://www.thrillist.com/IrishTrueCHI

Black Wednesday Re-Union

There are a million “Black Wednesday” themed parties taking place tomorrow, but the one at Union Sushi + Barbecue Bar stands out because they’ll have free food! Hit up Union tomorrow, November 23^rd, for complimentary passed skewers and sushi! If you’re one of those one-percenters who enjoys flaunting your blood money in the faces of those who are financially deprived, you can check out some of the specialty sake cocktails and other non-patriotic drinks crafted by mixologist, Adam Seger.

True story—prior to today I thought Black Wednesday was merely the name of a character in the Addams Family porn parody that I keep handy on my smartphone heard about from some unscrupulous pervert.

Black Wednesday Re-Union

Wednesday, November 23 | 9 PM – 1 AM

UNION Sushi + Barbecue Bar

230 W. Erie St

RSVP to events@eatatunion.com

Henri Bendel Grand Opening

Henri Bendel is finally opening a store in Chicago at Water Tower Place! [pause for orgasm] The launch party takes place on Friday, November 18th, and guests will be able to shop for the hottest new handbags while sipping champagne and taking turns in a digital photo booth...just like a sleepover at Jerry Sandusky's house. Too soon? All you fashionistas of the Midwest can finally rejoice. True story--I thought "fashionistas" was a term for fascist Mexicans.

Henri Bendel Grand Opening
Friday, November 18 | 6 - 9 PM
Water Tower Place
845 Michigan Avenue

No RSVP  (Click HERE for more info)

Shrine Haberdashery One Year Anniversary

Shrine Haberdashery is celebrating its One Year Anniversary on Thursday, November 17th in the James Hotel! This event will feature 1920s style cocktails and appetizers (e.g. Prohibition Punch and Communist Croquettes), live entertainment and a fashion show.

Shrine Haberdashery One Year Anniversary
Thursday, November 17 | 7 - 9 PM
The Grand Room at the James Hotel
55 E. Ontario St

RSVP to rsvp@shrinestyle.com by November 14, 2011. (Obviously the registration deadline was yesterday but I just found out about it. Don't email me death threats if you don't get accepted!)

Apartment Number 9 Tenth Anniversary

Apartment Number 9 is celebrating its Tenth Anniversary by hosting a Rag & Bone pop-up shop on Friday, November 18th. Wasn't Rag & Bone a member of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony? Free cocktails and snacks will be served and shoppers will receive a 20% discount on all Rag & Bone purchases (offer good through 11/20).

Apartment Number 9 Tenth Anniversary
Friday, November 18 | 5 - 8 PM
1804 N. Damen Ave

Red Mango Grand Opening

Despite the imminent arrival of wintry death that will soon suck the souls out of all Chicagoans, frozen yogurt joints are still popping up everywhere. In fact a new Red Mango is opening its doors in Water Tower Place on Thursday, November 17th. Stop by the new location between 4 and 8 PM to get a free frozen yogurt with delicious toppings like strawberries, pineapples, graham crackers, or the exclusive Chicago topping, giardiniera peppers.

Red Mango Grand Opening
Thursday, November 17 | 7 PM
Water Tower Place | Level 7
835 North Michigan Avenue

A Movember to Remember

John Allan's Chicago and Darren Brown are hosting an event for Movember at John Allan's penthouse man spa on Friday, November 18th. Guests can enjoy complimentary beer and cocktails as well as mini massages, manicures and hair cuts.

In case you weren't aware, during the month of November men all over the world grow out their woman-repelling mustaches to bring awareness to men's health, specifically prostate cancer and other cancers that affect men. While this is certainly for a good cause it unfortunately leads to a spike in false arrests of guys who closely resemble police sketches of rapists and Unabombers. Proceeds from the event will be donated to Movember's cause to raise funds for prostate cancer research.

JA Chicago & Darren Brown present Movember
Friday, November 18 | 7 PM
John Allan's Chicago
111 W. Jackson Blvd - Penthouse Suite

RSVP to jachicago@johnallans.com

Darryll Schiff Grand Opening

Gentner Furniture Design will showcase a display of artist Darryll Schiff's works on Friday, November 11th. Complimentary drinks and appetizers will be served. Visit http://www.schiff-art.com/ to check out some of his pieces. The "In Vista" collection (see picture above) includes high-quality blurry photos that apparently emulates the perspective of someone with a severe migraine. Check it out.

Darryll Schiff Grand Opening
Friday, November 11 | 5 - 8  PM
Gentner Furniture Design
228 West Kinzie Street

No RSVP required

Cityblue Apparel & Denim Second Anniversary Party

Cityblue Apparel & Denim is hosting its Second Anniversary Party on  Friday, November 11th from 7 to 9 p.m. The event will include cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, gift bags, and a raffle! Shoppers will also receive a 20% discount when they buy stuff! I went to the first anniversary party and got a tad wasted. I woke up the next morning wearing nothing but a stylish, raccoon vest (only $304) and one leather pant leg. I hope that image runs through your head all day long.

Cityblue Apparel & Denim Second Anniversary Party
Friday, November 11 | 7 - 9 PM
1444 N. Wells St

RSVP to caroline@bettiebombpr.com by 12 PM. on Friday, November 11

Meet the Matchmaker

Stef Safran, "Chicago's Introductionista", is hosting a meet and greet for single ladies who are interested in "Stef and the City", a one-on-one matchmaking service. This free event will take place at Excalibur on Friday, November 11th, and there will be an abundance of free drinks and appetizers for all you chicks who still don't have a ring on it. Guess what? Sheila Kelley's S-Factor will be at the event! I was hoping the S-Factor was some sort of juggling, burlesque troupe but apparently it's a pole-dancing workout class. Still a winner in my book! Space is limited to only 200 people so RSVP immediately for free entry and a gift bag.  I wonder if the gift bag comes with Sheila Kelley's S-Factor Pole Powder--don't wrap your thighs around a pole without it.

Girl's Night Out: Meet the Matchmaker
Friday, November 11 | 7 - 9 PM
Excalibur
632 N. Dearborn St.

Click HERE to RSVP

BlackBook Midnight Mixologists

BlackBook is celebrating the artistry of its 2011 Midnight Mixologists with a party at Crossing on Thursday, November 10th! The elite mixologists will be on deck to showcase their custom Stoli cocktails, and guests will have an opportunity to try Stoli’s new Chocolat Razberi flavor. I’m pretty sure I dated a fatherless daughter stripper named Chocolat Razberi back in the day. Unfortunately she used me and I was just another notch on her g-string. To this day, her clear, platform heels still run through my head. This invite is good for you and one guest so sign up below to get on the list.

BlackBook Midnight Mixologists
Thursday. November 10 | 8 – 11 PM
CROSSING
2548 North Southport Avenue

Click HERE to RSVP

Molteni & C Grand Opening

[Update: My RSVP was CONFIRMED and then subsequently DENIED a couple days later. What part of the game is this?! It looks like all CS-sponsored events are going to be very exclusive henceforth. If you haven't received an invite, or you belong to the 99%, you are not allowed to booze with the beautiful people.]

The Molteni & C Grand Opening is popping off at the Merchandise Mart on Thursday, November 17^th. Concetta Cipriano is hosting a fashion show to unveil the sexy new Cettina Design spring-summer 2012 collection! DJ Ciabatta Panini will be on the ones and twos. This is sponsored by EFFEN Vodka and Pure Kitchen Catering so there should be some decent food and drinks. I'll see ya there!

Molteni & C Grand Opening

Thursday, November 17^th | 6 – 9 PM

Fashion Show starts at 7 PM

Merchandise Mart

222 Merchandise Mart Plaza – Suite 128

RSVP to rsvpchicago@modernluxury.com 

Spend the Night with Windows Phone

Microsoft is hosting a promo event on 11/11/11 (OMG… palindromes!) to show of the newest Windows smart phones. This event will take place in the Museum of Contemporary Art Warehouse and will include free drinks, food, mad giveaways and a live performance by “The Drums”. You have to RSVP for this event through Facebook via some long, intrusive registration process. You also need to LIKE the Windows Phone page. It’s pretty ridiculous, but I’ve done much worse for free booze and food. Yes, I’ve sucked toes for Hennessy. Don’t judge me!

Microsoft Windows Mobile Promo Party

Friday, November 11 | 7 PM

Museum of Contemporary Art Warehouse

1747 W. Hubbard St

Click HERE to RSVP

DailyCandy and SOREL Party

DailyCandy is hosting an event to show off the new SOREL winter collection of boots for men, women, kids and human centipedes. Get your peruse on while sipping sparkling wine and eating appetizers and baked treats. RSVP to get a special DailyCandy gift at the event.

DailyCandy and SOREL
Thursday, November 10 | 5:30 – 8 PM
Columbia Sportswear
830 N. Michigan Ave.

Click HERE to RSVP

Beaujolais Noveau Tasting

The uncorking of the first bottle of Dubeouf Beaujolais Nouveau (my spell-check just EXPLODED) is taking place on Wednesday, November 16^th. Be the first to sample the new wine and see the unique, artistic label designed by “Kaves”, a (in)famous graffiti artist from New York. For some reason the bottle reminds me of a poster for the movie Breakin’. Space is limited so RSVP quickly.

Beaujolais Noveau Tasting

Wednesday, November 16^th | 10 PM – 1 AM

Architectural Artifacts

4325 N. Ravenswood Ave

RSVP to Jason.Gutierrez@wjdeutsch.com

Sparkly Happy Hour

Objets d'Envy is hosting a "Sparkly Happy Hour" for all of its wonderful customers on Thursday, November 3rd at Province. Check out all of the new jewelry, receive discounts on certain pieces, and nibble on appetizers lovingly prepared by Chef Randy. Chef Randy sounds like the name of a recurring character in a series of British porno movies that I totally don't have saved on my computer. Patrons will also receive a free specialty cocktail with any purchase. Wait a minute, do you only receive a free drink if you buy something?? What kind of socialist happy hour is this?! This is America! I drink first and then I shoplift buy stuff!

Objets d'Envy Sparkly Happy Hour
Thursday, November 3 | 5:30 - 7:30 PM
Province
161 N. Jefferson (Between Lake and Randolph)

RSVP to Kirsten

Patron's Hacienda Grand Opening

Stop by Patron's Hacienda TONIGHT for the GRAND OPENING PARTY! "Chicago's First Mexican Steakhouse" is celebrating its opening with a complimentary OPEN BAR from 5 - 7 PM! You know how much tequila you can drink in two hours? It doesn't matter because you won't remember anything after the first 30 minutes. Don't forget to head over to the Celluloid Salon tonight as well. A quick word of advice--mixing tequila and Drambuie will probably lead to an intestinal rupture. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Patron's Hacienda Grand Opening
Wednesday, November 2 | 5 - 7 PM
316 W. Erie St (between Orleans and Franklin)

No RSVP required.

TR Napa Valley Wine Tasting

TR Napa Valley, the newest tenant on Oak Street, is hosting a complimentary wine tasting on Tuesday, November 8th. Guests will have the opportunity to sniff, sip, and spit the finest wines from Sanford of Santa Barbara, California. Exciting, yes? I like my wine like my women, full-bodied and well-aged. I'm looking at you, Helen Mirren. Grrrowl.

TR Napa Valley - Sanford Wine Tasting
Tuesday, November 8 | 6 - 9 PM
61 E. Oak St

No RSVP required.

Vapiano VIP Launch Party

The Vapiano VIP Launch Party on Thursday, November 3rd, is so hot it might pop the corns on your feet! Gross, I know. This shindig includes free Italian food (hopefully more than a couple passed appetizers), complimentary cocktails, and FREE parking for all you wonderful designated drivers out there. FYI--you might have to call off work the next day. #WeekdayHangoversRule

Vapiano VIP Launch Party
Thursday, November 3rd | 6 - 10 PM
Vapiano Chicago
2577 N. Clark St.

RSVP to RSVP@k101agency.com with "Vapiano VIP Launch Party" in the subject line, or click HERE to automatically generate the email.

Manhattan Chicago Experience

Woodford Reserve and Esquire have summoned the best mixologists in Chicago to prove why they are the Masters of the Manhattan. The Manhattan, composed of whiskey, sweet vermouth and bitters, is one of the manliest drinks* that can be contained in a dainty martini glass. This event will take place at QUAY and will feature hors d'oeuvres and, of course, an assortment of Manhattans featuring Woodford Reserve.

Manhattan Chicago Experience
Monday, November 14 | 7 PM
QUAY
465 E. Illinois

RSVP at wellcraftedmanhattan.com

*The manliest cocktail in a martini glass is called THE MAN and it includes the following ingredients:

-1 part diesel fuel
-1 part Komodo Dragon saliva
-1 part Triple Sec
-Splash of children's fear

Shake ingredients in hollowed skull of worst enemy. Enjoy!

Celluloid Salon 2011

Celluloid Salon 2011, sponsored by Drambuie and MyOpenBar.com, is gonna be bananas! For all you squares that means “awesome”. On Wednesday, November 2nd, the Viaduct Theater will host an evening of drunkenness and cinematic confusion when it showcases 4 vintage short films with a contemporary score composed by Chicago’s own DJ Chrissy Murderbot! I dare you to tell me that's not the best DJ name ever. I attended this event last year at the Chopin theater and I was quite drunk impressed. Free booze, food and entertainment! There will be a lot of hipsters in the building so be sure to dress the part with your little brother’s jeans and multiple neon-colored snap bracelets.

Celluloid Salon 2011

Wednesday, November 2nd | 7 PM
Viaduct Theater
3111 N. Western Ave

RSVP at myopenbar.com/celluloidsalon

Check out the program below!

CISC 1st Annual Music Event

Chicago Interactive Social Club (CISC) is having its 1st Annual Music Event on Thursday, November 10th at The Chicago Recording Company! This one is fairly unique because each studio will have a DJ or an artist performing for the crowd. So one room might have a mosh pit, the other might have strobe lights and glow sticks, and another might have dueling accordionists fighting to the death (there can only be one)! There will also be a full open bar and appetizers from 6 - 9 PM! I'm certain this event will be packed like a commuter train in Tokyo so register below and get there EARLY!

CISC 1st Annual Music Event
Thursday, November 10 | 6 - 9 PM
232 East Ohio St.

Click HERE to RSVP!

Nylon and Sebastian VIP Event

Sebastian and Nylon Magazine are hosting some sort of style event at Siren Salon on Wednesday, November 2nd. According to the flyer, this event will consist of hair touch-ups, cocktails, sweet treats and other terms that have completely different meanings when you're in prison. Maybe they'll also explore the consequences of Photoshop gone wrong. The model in the picture above either had her torso whittled down with a magic eraser or she has an enormous head. You be the judge.

Nylon and Sebastian VIP Event
Wednesday, November 7 | 7 - 9 PM
3143 N. Lincoln Ave

RSVP to sebastian.siren@nylonmag.com

Jewels and Gems

Get ready for a night of fall beauty at SINE QUA NON Salon! On Friday, October 21st, stylists from the salon will showcase the hottest new fall and winter hair and makeup trends. Sparkling champagne and hors d'oeuvres will also be served. I'd totally go to this event if it wasn't for the fact that I have a penis.

SINE QUA NON Salon Jewels and Gems
Friday, October 21 | 7 - 9 PM
2766 N. Lincoln Ave

RSVP to rsvp@skirtpr.com

The Macallan After Dark

The Macallan After Dark party is taking place at Union Station TONIGHT at 11 PM! Fellas, here's your one and only chance to get your Don Draper on by sipping flights of single malt scotch all night and leaving with the hottest hottie at the party! Oops, it turns out that hottie was actually the herpes carrying monkey that escaped from the exotic animal farm in Ohio. Maybe it'll cook breakfast for you?

The Macallan After Dark
Thursday, October 20 | 11 PM - 1 AM
Union Station
201 S. Canal St

Click HERE to RSVP

Anna Fong - A Mayan Tale [Update]

[Update: There will be a cash bar for the cocktail hour at 6 PM. Lame, I know. However there's also an after-party at Underground with complimentary Absolut cocktails from 9 - 10 PM.]

The Anna Fong Spring Fashion Preview is going down at the Blackstone Renaissance Hotel on Friday, October 21st, and you know it's gonna be sexy! Anna Fong will preview her new line, inspired by her Guatemalan heritage. Guests will see the new 2012 Mercedes Benz C-Class Coupe and have a chance to win prize packages valued at up to $1000. This event will be hosted by the editor-in-chief of Michigan Avenue Magazine, Susanna Negovan. You better RSVP for this one quickly and be sure to dress to impress. Ladies, here's a glimpse of what I will be wearing on the red carpet.

Anna Fong Fashion Show - "A Mayan Tale"
Friday, October 21 | 6 - 8:30  PM
Renaissance Blackstone Hotel
636 S Michigan

Cocktails & Style Presentation @ 6 PM
Fashion Show @ 7 PM
Charity Auction @ 7:30 PM
Afterparty hosted at Underground @ 9 PM

RSVP at http://www.anna-fong.com/

2012 Acura TL Launch Party

The new 2012 Acura TL is out and what better way to celebrate a car that you can't afford than with free food and liquor?? The official Launch Party for this sexed up sedan is taking place tomorrow, October 18th, at the River East Arts Center. Acura tends to throw really good parties so this is one you should RSVP for immediately. They also tend to get pretty crowded so make sure you get there early. Not "first dork in line for the new iPhone" early, but you get the gist.

2012 Acura TL Launch Party
Tuesday, October 18 | 7 - 9PM
River East Arts Center
435 East Illinois Street

Click HERE to RSVP (Updated Link)

The Heart of Cognac Experience

Cognac lovers rejoice! Remy Martin is bringing The Heart of Cognac Experience to the Chicago Illuminating Company on Tuesday, 10/25, Wednesday, 10/26, and Thursday, 10/27! Guests will embark on a 75-90 minute journey where they will have a chance to sample Remy Martin and learn how the heart of cognac is captured in every bottle*. Register for this event per the link below.

The Heart of Cognac Experience
Tuesday, October 25 - Times Vary
Wednesday, October 26 - Times Vary
Thursday, October 27 - Times Vary
Chicago Illuminating Company
19 E. 21st Street

Click HERE to RSVP

*I bet they use a trail of gummy bears and a chloroform handkerchief!

Bombay Sapphire Artisan Series

Check out the Bombay Sapphire Artisan Series at the Gallery Guichard in Bronzeville on Saturday, October 15^th. Two artists will be selected to exhibit in Miami at Art Basel, the International Art Show. There will be a private cocktail reception from 6 – 9 PM including passed appetizers. Nothing makes me appreciate art more than gin and juice...and nudity.

Bombay Sapphire Artisan Series

Saturday, October 15 | 6 – 9 PM

Gallery Guichard

3521 South Martin Luther King Drive

RSVP by 10/13 to Chicago@Sapphireart.com

Dewar's Scotch Tasting

Dewar’s Discovery will be in Chicago from 10/19/11 to 10/23/11 for a Private Tasting Event! If you haven’t been to a Dewar’s tasting event you should definitely check this out. You’ll have a chance to make your own blend of scotch, which will probably taste terrible. If the presentation is too boring for you I’m sure the tipsy cougars who will be seated at your table will provide plenty of entertainment.

Dewar's Discovery Private Tasting

Wednesday, October 19 - Sunday, October 23

Location: TBD

Click HERE to RSVP

Strange Beauty Show Five-Year Anniversary

Strange Beauty Show, a salon and art gallery in Wicker Park, will be celebrating it's Five-Year Anniversary on Saturday, October 15th! This event will feature a hair showcase displaying all of the latest styles like the Jermaine Jackson Signature Pompadour Fade or the Crazy Cat Lady, popularized by Helena Bonham Carter. There will also be an art exhibition by Brett Whitacre with music provided by DJ Orville Kline. Last but not least, complimentary beverages and appetizers will be served. Proceeds from art sales and other services will benefit the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.

Strange Beauty Show Five-Year Anniversary
Saturday, October 15 | 7 - 10PM
Strange Beauty Show Salon
1118 North Ashland Avenue

No RSVP required

Red Bull and Vodka

Premier Event Marketing (PEM) is throwing a party at Jbar featuring a FREE VODKA and RED BULL Cocktail Reception on Friday, October 14th! The cocktail reception only lasts from 10 - 11 PM so hopefully you'll have enough time to get trashed/pumped in time for DJ Stonerokk's epic performance. Apparently this DJ has some connection to Heidi Klum, George Clooney, and Drew Barrymore? Is that supposed to negate the douchiness of his moustache? Everyone who attends will also receive access to the exclusive afterparty at STAY Lounge!

Premier Red Bull Party
Friday, October 14th | 9:30 PM - 2:00 AM
Jbar Chicago | James Hotel
610 North Rush Street

To RSVP Email RSVP@PEMChicago.com or Text Your Name To 847-989-3743

Sebastian Grey 1801 Club

Sebastian Grey Clothiers is hosting an event at the illustrious Chivas 1801 Club on Friday, October 14th. I doubt this will be any different from the previous events that have taken place in that immaculate mansion, but who cares? It's impossible to go wrong with free scotch, cigars, and hors d'ouevres...unless you hate America! Freedom isn't free, but the valet parking is so get on the list and get ready to party!

Sebastian Grey 1801 Club
Friday, October 14 | 6 - 9:30 PM
My Bachelor Pad | 1424 W. Ohio

RSVP to events@zapwater.com
(250 person capacity. Guest list will close 24 hours prior to event)

Amstel Light Happy Hour

Myopenbar, Flavorpill, and Amstel Light are sponsoring a free happy hour with, you guessed it, Amstel Light! Head over to Subterranean for free booze and appetizers TONIGHT from 6 - 9 PM.  You can also jitterbug all night long to the sexy beats provided by DJ Olin.

Amstel Light Happy Hour
Wednesday, October 12 | 6 - 9 PM
Subterranean
2011 W. North Ave

RSVP at http://flavorpill.com/thehookup/happyhour/chi/rsvp.html